Not perfect just Forgiven

         This morning I read a blog, what it was about wasn't as important as the comment afterward. The blog objected to the use of scripture in a particular publication, the comment that followed is one every Christian should read. 
She referenced a person that was just  mean, and a gossip, yet had a bumper sticker on her car that said                    "Not Perfect, Just Forgiven."
  Well, that doesn't surprise me. Anyone could unfortunately say something similar about me. It proves that those of us who profess Christ are always being watched. First to see if we really are different and second to see if we really are not. What we as Christians do, effects our testimony, and by the world's standards, our Christ. He does not need us to show his glory, but he has chosen us to do so and we should be overwhelmed by that!
  It is the next part of the woman's statement that is so very important. She said "When did being a Christian become and excuse instead of a motivation?"
  She is right! Just because we are sinners forgiven is no excuse to continue to sin. Now.....we will. We will never be perfect in this life, in this world, that comes with Christ's return.

Now- the world is full of sin, dying from it.
We, trapped in tents of flesh are serving ourselves. Sin.
Ephesians 4:17-32 talks of how a sinner, saved by grace must put off the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires because we have been made new, created to be like God in righteousness and holiness. No longer to be like those who are lost, darkened in their understanding because of ignorance and hardness of heart.

 The unbeliever does not have this battle. The old self rules, there is no new creation to battle with. Believers must daily  put down the old ways, the anger, gossip, lust and sinful desires. It is battle! The flesh is strong, the will of man is strong, evil is strong.
          Christ is stronger.

There is the story, perhaps you have heard it in one form or another.

An old Indian man, as a new believer in Christ speaks of the raging battle inside of him. He says, it is like two dogs fighting within me, both trying to win. One is good, it is those things like prayer and Bible reading, kindness to others, forgiveness. The other, it is my old life, spirituality, drugs, lust and anger. They fight all day, all day, all day. Someone asks the old man, "Which one wins?" He replyed, "The one that I feed."

Believers in Christ sin. Believers are forgiven. Believers do not have license to sin freely.
We have the gift of God's grace, his mercy, his guidance and power of his Holy Spirit, his restraint.
We have repentance granted by him.
Repentance in the Greek means to think differently to reconsider.
Maybe it means to feed the right dog.

Broken Mommies

On the last episode of Biggest Loser, contestant Shaye was pushed to an emotional break. Her trainer, the ever gritty Jillian, prodded into the reasons why a young woman had gotten to be 474 pounds. Through sweat and tears, Shaye's heart wrenching story was revealed. Her mother killed herself with heroine. She shut her in a closet when she had men over, pushed her aside, and a little girl was forever changed by the poor choices of the one who was suppose to take care of her, keep her safe, love her more than anything.
Shaye thought she had made it, she hadn't become addicted to drugs, a battle won, only to realize, she instead was killing herself with food. At her breaking point she cried out, " I couldn't make her love me."

Sometimes mommies are broken.

I was never shoved in a closet, but I remember more men at our house than I care to. Some were nice, some were awful. I remember cops and ambulances. I remember wishing I was dead when I was 9.

I couldn't make my mom love me.
Not more than she loved herself.

I spent so many years being angry or sad. I've spent years medicating myself with food.
A disease stole my mom, she's broken because of it. she is still alive yet not really living. imprisoned by jealousy, envy, and mistrust.
I once read a statement written about narcissism- it said, having a narcissist for a mother is like playing house with a 6 year old. they will dress you and feed you, kind of like a doll, but when something else comes along they will drop you on the floor and go to what pleases them more.

I struggled when I became a Christian, with the honoring of my mother, what did that look like?
There is no way to have a civil conversation, I must weight every word, guard every emotion. I must protect myself.

I dont write this to dishonor her, but because this struggle is not unique to me. We have people in our lives we owe honor to, yet their behavior makes it nearly impossible. When I speak to my mom, it won't go well, I know that so I lower my expectations. She is not capable of giving me what I need from a mother. If I still require her to, I set her and myself up for failure. I can't talk about personal things with her, so God graciously gave me a great step mother , a wonderful daughter, aunts and friends. I let go of the anger because it poisoned me. I let go of expectations because they hurt me. I am responsible for my actions and reactions, she isn't.


I guess God gives all of us obstacles, often they are people and usually those closest to us.
so we learn from them
how not to hurt others
how not to react.

By the grace of God go I